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he other day i was doing the one thing that i had decided a million years back that i would never do. I was watching a Bollywood flick.

Result: I decided to renew my vows. 

So me being me and having more than plenty of time to bust on absolute crap decide to do some R & D on the subject and come to the realisation that in the last 50 years, Bollywood has made like 10 original movies. 

And that was back in the 50s. After that, the great (ahem!!) moviemakers of our country decided to get well - inspired, (and i thought 'sorry' was the fakest word in existence). So basically every movie that we come across is a copy of a copy of some other movie made by some other dude, or dudette (being politically correct). 

That�s when i took an oath that i should atleast try and save my imaginary readers from this plot of deceit, and in the process save 14 hours of your time, per movie. 

So here is me giving y'all the summary of just about any other inspired movie that Bollywood has ever released, or intends to release. 

Boy meets girl. 

Girl meets boy. 
(This is written separately coz in both the instances we have separate songs) 

They fall in love. 
(Another song) 
(And this is not just ordinary love. In two meets they decide that they will rather die than be without each other, where in real life, even after a year, it took this one girl half a second to dump me) 
Girls dad / uncle / brother / husband / ex-boyfriend finds out. 
(This usually happens at a party, in the middle of another song sung by the guy, who can barely afford shoelaces, turns up wearing an Armani) 

The girl�s dad / uncle / brother / husband / ex-boyfriend has a problem with it. 
(This character is called the villian) 

Villian and two hundred other goons with him beat up boyfriend
(Real life. "Fuck it dude.. This shit isn�t worth it." 
Reel life. Our hero decides to take on them and beats all of them to the ground in spectacular Matrix slow motion. Until our villain gets one shot through to him. Variation: Gun / Knife / Stick) 

Boyfriend in hospital
(He always has his own room, even for a broken wrist and a couple of bruises. He always has bandages that look as though they just came out of the washing machine, and our hero's wounds are placed so spectacularly that it actually makes him look cooler than normal. Not to mention there is not a single crease on the same shirt he was beaten up in.) 

Girl hears of this from servant 
(Another song) 
(P.S. Servant is always more faithful to heroin than the villain.. duh!!!) 

Girl starts crying 
(Another song) 

Keeps crying 
(Song follows) 

Guy cries
(Song still follows...) 
Hero somehow beats up Villain�s Villain to save Villain. Comic servant helps. 
(Song finally stops) 

Villain realizes he cant stop true love
(Like obviously!!!) 

They all live happily ever after. 
(Another song!) 

The End. 
(Thank you for wasting your ticket money) 

So there it is. The official storyline that movie makers of our country have been dwelling on for decades now. 

I do sincerely hope that i have not spoilt the movie going experience of all you folks out there, and if i have, trust me I am doing you all a favour.